Attraction Beyond Gender—But Not Beyond Energy
Love without limits. Desire beyond gender. The ability to see a soul before you see a body.
That’s how many describe pansexuality—the attraction to people regardless of their gender identity. It’s a beautiful, expansive way to love. But let’s go deeper.
Because while love can be limitless, attraction follows an unspoken rhythm. And if you’ve ever wondered why some connections feel intoxicating while others fade into neutrality, here’s the truth:
Attraction is about energy first, gender second.
So if you identify as pansexual (or are questioning if you truly are), this isn’t about labels—it’s about understanding your unique energetic chemistry and how to attract a romance that doesn’t just fit, but sets your soul on fire.
My Own Journey to Understanding Attraction
I’ve always been a relationship type of person. Deep, consistent connection has fueled me since I was old enough to share a juice box and hold hands—my personal version of third base.
So when my very protective mother moved me away from my first "true" love at 15, I did what any hormonal teen would: I tried to rewire my attraction.
If I couldn’t date boys without restrictions, then I’d simply start liking girls. Problem solved, right?
With the unwavering confidence of a teenager, I put on my cutest jeans and belly shirt, marched down to the shopping center near the movie theater, and set out to pick up my future girlfriend.
But here’s the thing: No matter how beautiful a girl was, how intelligent, how charismatic—my body was completely uninterested.
I was so committed to my mission of lesbianism, yet constantly distracted by every hot teen boy raging with masculine hormones. The ones who radiated a presence—a charge that sparked something primal inside me.
That’s when it clicked.
There are levels of attraction—the kind in your mind and the kind in your body. While they can fluctuate slightly, each of us has a natural frequency that leans toward one energy or another. And that frequency is the key to not only attracting our match but also being a good match for who we attract.
Many people who seem neutral in attraction are actually suppressing their deeper desires—living with a lingering sense of unfulfilled yearning.
So if you really aren’t sure which way your energy is polarized, get curious. Pay attention to what your body says, not just your mind. Attraction isn’t just excitement in your heart—it’s a response in your body, in your most primal places.
👉 If you’re still questioning what pansexuality means, this Psychology Today article provides an in-depth explanation.
Step 1: Understanding If You’re Truly Pansexual
Before we talk about attraction, let’s ask the real question: Are you pansexual, or are you something else entirely?
Because attraction beyond gender exists in many forms, but it’s not the same for everyone. Ask yourself:
Do I feel drawn to the person’s soul, mind, or energy before their physical form?
Have I felt deep attraction to multiple genders (or do I tend to prefer one but remain open)?
Do I notice patterns in the energy I’m drawn to—structured, decisive energy (masculine) or intuitive, flowing energy (feminine)?
Do I feel more free when I don’t label my attraction, or am I searching for a term that makes me feel seen?
💡 Truth Check: If you feel a pull toward multiple genders but still recognize a pattern in the energy you crave (ex: always drawn to more masculine or more feminine partners), you may not be fully pansexual—you may be energetically selective. And that’s okay. Your attraction is uniquely yours.
Step 2: Attraction Isn’t Random—It’s Energetic
Attraction isn’t about aesthetics or gender. It’s about polarity—the push and pull between masculine and feminine energy.
But here’s what most people miss:
Masculine and feminine energy are not about clothing, gestures, or outward personality. They are about what drives a person’s decisions.
Some women in dresses and heels carry intense masculine energy.
Some men—like Prince—had an outwardly feminine aesthetic but radiated raw masculine attraction.
True attraction happens beyond appearances. When you observe yourself and others on a deeper level, you’ll notice that we are all naturally polarized toward one side or the other—with an openness to rare exceptions.
👉 For a deeper dive into how relationships are shaped by energy and polarity, check out this Psychology Today article.
Step 3: How to Attract the Romance That Sets Your Soul on Fire
✨ 1. Own Your Core Energy.
If you thrive in your feminine energy, embrace your radiance, depth, and flow. Don’t chase—magnetize.
If you feel more aligned with your masculine energy, step into confidence, lead with clarity, and pursue with purpose.
✨ 2. Stop Accepting Neutral Chemistry.
If a connection lacks spark, it’s missing polarity. Shift into your natural energy and see if they rise to meet it.
If they don’t, it’s not your match. A soul-aligned connection should feel like a gravitational pull.
✨ 3. Let Energy Speak Louder Than Labels.
Whether you identify as pansexual, bisexual, queer, or something else, your energy will always tell you who you’re meant to be with.
Final Thought: Love Without Limits, Chemistry Without Compromise
Pansexuality isn’t just about saying, “I can love anyone.” It’s about understanding the energy that truly excites you and calling in a relationship that transcends labels and expectations.
So whether you’re searching, questioning, or simply trying to understand yourself more deeply, know this:
The love that’s meant for you is not about gender. It’s about the energy exchange that makes your soul feel alive.
And when you find it, you’ll know.
Let’s Go Deeper
💫 Listen to my song Straight to Your Love—a musical journey into desire, attraction, and the human instinct to lead someone to your heart. Available on all streaming platforms.
💫 Message me on WhatsApp to explore energy and attraction on a deeper level.
💫 Follow me on Instagram for reflections on love, polarity, and magnetic relationships.
Because true connection isn’t just about finding someone—it’s about energetically aligning with the love you’re meant for.
Thank you for reading my thoughts. I love to share clarity and energy shifts with others. It's kind of my super power. Now consider yourself touch by a self proclaimed enlightened person who still has a whole lot of life left to figure out.
Ciao Ciao,
Adora Aiza